The trappings of youth are of little loss to me compared to what I’ve gained in awareness and wisdom. I would never choose to go back. My life is so much richer and meaningful now. I was so naive and too distracted by the seductions of youth.
I know many say that if they could go back knowing what they know now, but, that’s the thing, it doesn’t work that way. Some youth are born with their souls remembering and can start ahead of the game, but most of us, up until this point in history, have to start back from scratch and learn as we grow.
In my youth, I was quite beautiful. I can say that looking back but I didn’t believe it then. I lacked so much confidence. I was easy prey to addictions and the damages inflicted by a patriarch. Later in life, I learned to use my feminine wiles as a weapon. I wasn’t fully conscious of this but my survival instincts and desires were strong. I still lacked the confidence to wealed my powers to full potential but I managed pretty well.
Now, in my fifties, as youth slips away, so does the lack of confidence. I’m settling into my bones and my mind is expanding as I escape survival mode. I’ve learned so much through the years, in spite of myself, and it’s all coming to fruition now. This temple of mine, that carries me through this life, is showing it’s age and wear but it’s still strong and full of life and I’m learning to love it completely and unconditionally.
It’s my mind that brings me the most joy. As I settle in after the long war, and so many battles, and embrace my victory over self. I can finally allow myself to be myself completely. Nothing to prove, no survival tactics needed. The world outside may still be in chaos but I am secure in this vessel. I’ve built community with other gentle, wise souls. We support each other through the turbulent waters.
I’m no longer afraid to show my vulnerability. A wise woman once told me it was my strength. I finally understand. I no longer feel the struggles and pains of defending this person I am. I’m a wild child and a sage and a woman, with all that encompasses. I’ve made it through intact and mightier. I use my lessons learned to guide others. I strive to build a larger community of powerful women stepping out, in our secure temples, and changing the world with our hearts on fire.
Here I have to say, most of the battles are within. The world can tell you things about who you are, like, you’re not enough, or you’re too much, but ultimately, it’s the power you allow them to have that decides your path. It’s our own demons that need to be slain before we can stand tall in ourselves. Once they are, the world loses its power over you. You can take your place as a guide, shining light in the world. You’re solid no matter what comes.
Mother Earth grounds me. I source much power from her. She loves the me I am and I love her with everything I am. She teaches me and expands my mind daily. I still do battles but now they’re for her and humanity, many are on a spiritual plain.
Youth? It’s a lovely fantasy of what could have been if, but I don’t go there. I’m who I am because of everything I went through. I wouldn’t change a single second. I wouldn’t go back, ever. I love where I am, who I am. Every wrinkle and laugh line, earned. Every lesson in my bones. This life is rich and magical and oh so beautiful! I’m exactly where I want to be and embracing every battle scar. A body with youth, strength, and beauty just can’t compete with this temple full of wisdom I live in. I’m home.
This is one of those posts that just streamed out in a matter of minutes. Embracing self has been on my mind a lot these days as I plan a launch for my new essential oils beauty line for mature women. ‘Wild S’age Beauty’ is being created to embrace succulent aging instead of grasping for anti-aging. It’s not about desperately trying to turn back time, it’s about loving and caring for the skin you’re in. Does this sound good to you? Let me know your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you.